


Safe

by A Small World (Datawolf39)



Series: Start of Something Small [10]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Hurt/Comfort, Little!Jane, Non-Sexual Age Play, supportive team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datawolf39/pseuds/A%20Small%20World
Summary: After nearly losing the team Jane realizes that they truly care about him, and that he feels the same for them.
Series: Start of Something Small [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1037940
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Just playing with some of my fav characters. Been on my computer for a while and thought I would share.

"Jane, are you okay?"

Worry, that was easy enough to identify thanks to the tone of the voice. 

Concern, evident from the hands that were gently touching him, clearly looking for any sign of physical injury.

Relief, a sigh when no injury was found.

Fear, hands on his, slightly shaking, no physical injury, did not mean not injured.

Panic, his name, first and last, called, more than once, by more than one person.

Struggle, trying to surface, to bring up the walls, summon the facade avoid the-

Realization, they cared, cared for him as a friend. He cared for them enough to withdraw completely when the situation seemed hopeless, when it seemed as though they might lose. He would not be the reason the world lost more of its best souls, he would not survive it again. They were no longer pawns to be used in his vendetta, and they had not been for a long time, in truth, the moment he agreed to consult with the team, he had known, but it had just taken a situation where he might lose them all at once for him to allow himself to see just how important they were to him.

An unfamiliar touch drew him from his thoughts. He looked up, nothing was familiar to him, not the person, not the place, every instinct in him, screamed at him to run, get away, hide. Aided by a rush of adrenaline he fled. 

His words were gone, stolen by fear and panic. He turned, looking around for a safe place to hide, then she was in front of him. His breathing slowed reflexively. She was here, if she was here he was safe. 

"Jane."

He turned. The voice was calm as always; safe as always. 

All four were there. Not quite surrounding him, but arranged so that one would be close should he run. Confusion came over him. Why would he run? Why would he want to get away when all he needed to feel protected was here, right now?

He fell to the floor, legs suddenly weak, and unable to support him. He smiled as he looked up at them. They all were really big when he was sitting down, and he felt the safety more keenly, because no threat could get him when he was protected by them.

'If I lay down they would be even bigger.' he thought. He laid on the floor curling into himself like a kitten. Sleep was quick to take him, and for once he didn’t even try to fight it.

~

Teresa Lisbon would have loved to blame the situation on some scheme organized by her wayward consultant, but unfortunately Jane had no hand in the whole team being captured on their current assignment. 

The sad part was that he had been very well behaved on this particular case, and the turn it had taken would surely stop that from happening again. Nobody had tried to punch him in the face, he hadn't pulled any tricks that made a mound of extra paperwork, and he had even slept the whole ride upstate, face pillowed on Cho's shoulder. Lisbon absolutely did not have Van Pelt take photos for her completely non existent collection of team photos.

The agent hadn’t seemed to mind much, given his lack of reaction. In fact his only movements had occurred when it seemed like Jane was starting to have a bad dream, and he would give the man a light pat, and repeat as needed.

When they got to the station, Jane was downright helpful, spotting a clue that local enforcement had missed. The postage on the letter wasn't enough so it had to have been hand delivered. There were no theatrics, and she almost made a comment, but she didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Perhaps the first clue that things were about to go south, was how smooth the arrest went. They had the guy in interrogation, and that was when everything went fubar. Shots fired, station under siege, Jane mouth taped, and body tied. Apparently, this guy knew Jane's most dangerous weapon was his words.

Five hours, and two bullets later, Lisbon was cutting the ties on Cho and Rigsby, while Van Pelt went to help Jane.

When Lisbon got over there, she saw that Jane was unresponsive. His eyes were unfocused and far away. She couldn’t remember a time where he seemed this out of it. Normally when he got caught in his mind, someone getting near him was enough to snap his focus outward.

"Jane? Jane answer me."

"Jane, come on man, if this is a joke it isn't funny."

"Is he injured?" one of the EMTs asked.

"His name is Patrick Jane, he's a consultant with the CBI, he had no physical injuries or known allergies, but he is completely unresponsive for unknown reasons, and has been for at least five minutes" Lisbon said, backing away to give the tech better access. 

The others followed her lead, and backed away slightly. The tech shone a penlight in Jane's eyes, and frowned at the lack of response the action produced. 

The tech reached for Jane's wrist, likely to take his pulse, and suddenly the vacant look was replaced with awareness. 

Jane’s breathing sped, and before anyone could move, he had pushed the tech away, and was on his feet and running. He raced down the corridors in an adrenaline fueled sprint, and Lisbon and the others followed without hesitation.

He stopped in a small meeting room. He was gazing around frantically as if looking for something when Lisbon cautiously stepped into his line of sight.

"Jane," Cho said, voice calm despite his level of concern.

Jane turned to look at him, visibly calming.

The others filed in, making certain not to crowd him, but also getting close enough to stop him, if he tried to run again.

He gave them a look of confusion before falling to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. A dopey smile appeared on his features, and he looked around himself, smile still firmly in place. Then he laid on the floor, golden hair splaying out like a halo, as he curled, and then simply fell asleep.

Lisbon looked at the others, and they appeared every bit as confused as she was. Slowly, Cho, bent down, pulling Jane up until the prone body of the consultant was resting against his own. 

"Slight fever," the man announced.

Jane stirred a little, but only to find a more comfortable position against Cho, before settling back into sleep.

Somewhere in her mind, under the layers of worry, Lisbon, found it funny that Jane was using Cho as a pillow quite often these days, and funnier still that Cho could keep up his stoicness whilst being used as a pillow.

A few minutes later the tech appeared in the room. He didn’t touch Jane again, lest he cause another incident, but he advised them to have Jane checked out at the hospital, once he was a bit less agitated. 

“Let’s get him back to the hotel,” Lisbon said softly.

They all nodded.

~

Patrick Jane woke in a haze. He hadn’t slept well in years, his body had become quite used to using a nap here, and there, to sustain itself. Now he felt sluggish, but there was a peace that came along with it.

Gazing over he saw that he was in the middle of a rather crowded bed. “Finally awake?” Lisbon asked. Her voice was really soft and sweet, and he couldn’t help smiling at the gentle tease in the tone.

“You okay?” Rigsby asked. 

Patrick looked at him, confusion clear in his features.

“I take it you don’t remember last night?” Cho said.

Patrick had to squirm a little to face him, and he shook his head.

“You didn’t want us to leave,” Van Pelt said. “You whined in your sleep, and would only calm down once one of us were lying with you.”

Patrick blushed, he didn’t remember any of that. That didn’t explain why they were all here though, lying around like a pride of lions. 

The question must have been clear even though it wasn’t voiced, because Lisbon said, “It was easier to just push the beds together, and pile in so that we wouldn’t wake you up if one of us had to get up.”

Even in his fuzzy state he could hear what she hadn’t said. They all knew that he didn’t sleep enough due to his nightmares, and they were not going to be the reason that he woke up from something so rare for him.

There had been a time that he would have sacrificed them to achieve the goal that he had set for himself, and this was what he would have lost, he would have lost this happiness that he didn’t deserve in the first place. He knew that he didn’t deserve it, so he didn’t even let himself see that he had it in the first place before last night. He didn’t even realize that he was crying until it became hard to breathe. 

He choked on the tears, wiping frantically at his eyes with wild uncoordinated swipes. He knew he needed to calm down, but everything seemed too much and far too big, he felt like Atlas holding up the world, and he was breaking under it. He needed…

A light touch to his arm, startled him, but instead of freezing in fear or trying to run away in embarrassment, as part of him demanded, he latched on, fingers grabbing at the hand, and using the grasp to pull himself closer.

The body he had attacked with an enthusiastic cuddle, he gave a giggle at that phrasing, because even in his head it sounded silly, stilled, but moments later, an arm circled him, and brought him even closer. It was warm and steady, and he found himself calming down rapidly.

Rigsby always reminded him of a teddy bear, he thought, and gave another giggle, because now he was imagining the man as a giant teddy. Cho would make a good teddy too. Cho would be a Spock bear, and he giggled again, Cho would make a good Vulcan.

Soon he was imagining the whole team as crime fighting teddies, and for some reason it was super funny to him.

“You alright?” Rigsby asked.

Patrick pulled away, just a bit so he could see him, and nodded.

“You want to tell us why you were upset?”

Patrick shook his head. He didn't have the words to explain it and it would make them sad. He didn't want to make them sad.

“Fair enough. How about you share the joke? You were giggling a lot, and I know I like a good joke.”

Patrick bit his lip. Would they find it funny or would they be mad at him? “I…” he paused shocked at how small his voice sounded, but he pushed forward, this could make them laugh and he liked to do that. “Imagined you as a teddy. Cho would be a Spock bear.” 

“Not the first time I’ve been compared to a Vulcan,” Cho commented nonchalantly.

The others finally allow the laughter to break through.

Patrick's smile is broken by a yawn, which is silly considering that he had already had more sleep that night than he normally got in several of them. That didn’t stop him from closing his eyes, and drifting off.

~

Jane woke with a start. Memories flooding him, and a big dose of embarrassment alongside it. What had he been thinking!? He slipped out of the bed, found his bag, and went to shower.

He doesn’t talk to any of them on the ride back, it’s not through the others lack of trying. They try to talk to him, even Cho makes an attempt, but he stays silent. Partly, it has to do with embarrassment from his own actions, something that was mostly foregn to him considering the lengths that he went to, to solve cases, and the resulting lack of shame he experienced, the other part was knowing that whatever cosmic fluke had let him experience that level of safety and had his… colleagues so supportive of him that they would humor such odd behavior, had to be a one off, and it would be best if everyone just forgot about it.


	2. Care and Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another accidental fall and Patrick getting some much needed care.

Jane doesn’t forget about it. 

It's not for lack of trying though. If he had his way the memory would be as good as deleted, but late at night, when he lies sleepless, wherever he is spending the night, the desire to have that wonderfully calm safe feeling again, creeps up on him like a particularly terrifying stalker. Finally, he makes a list, a list of all the reasons why he needs to stop desiring whatever that moment in the hotel had been. He hopes that seeing it in writing will somehow cement how foolish he is being, and crush that resilient hope within. All it does is make it hurt more because when he is done listing the reasons that come to mind, all he sees is a reflection of how awful a person he is, and why they would all be better off without him in their lives.

The others are really worried about him, it doesn’t exactly take good observational skills to see that, and he likes to think that he is good at observation if nothing else.

Lisbon is hovering, she comes out of her office more often than usual, and her path always takes her by his couch, she is clearly waiting for him to fall apart so she can patch him up as quickly as possible. A habit most certainly built from helping her brothers through various crises, and consequently becoming her default reaction when she cared about someone.

The others are not much more subtle although, in fairness, they don’t seem to be trying to hide it. Van Pelt, and Rigsby have been looking at him more worried by the day, and he can barely make eye contact with them without feeling guilty for making them worry about him. Cho, well, he’s taken the most direct approach, literally saying that he was concerned, offering to listen if he wanted to talk, and leaving it at that.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case. Three months post whatever it was that happened to him that night, they were in the office having pizza. Jane had pulled a crazy stunt, the first in a while, thankfully the paperwork resulting from said crazy stunt was minimal, and they caught the killer with no one getting hurt, so it was a win win situation all around. Things seemed to be getting back to normal, and then Grace flopped down on the sofa, imitating a certain consultant because, for once the atmosphere was relaxed, and found a scrap of paper.

“Jane,” Grace said slowly eyes remaining on the paper.

Jane could tell by her voice, that she was both concerned, and angry. A combination that was uncalled for. It was his couch, and sometimes paper fell from his pockets. She probably found the receipt for that donut shop, in his defense it was a limited time donut, and he had to try it. It had been good, and of course he needed coffee, tea didn't go very well with the flavor of the donut, but It wasn’t that expensive though, so perhaps the problem was that he hadn’t shared with the team?

She turned the paper around, and he froze. The world seemed to forget to spin for a moment, and then sped up to fix the oversight. Grace had just found and read his _list_. Jane berated himself for the carelessness of leaving the thing where anyone could see it. They were definitely going to try to force him to see a shrink or something.

“I was wondering where that went,” he manages. His voice was broken, and he clears his throat trying to sound more like his normal self. “I meant to throw it away,” he says, all the while trying to pretend he is unaffected by the discovery.

By now, seeing Grace’s reaction, the others have walked over to her, and read the list for themselves, and just like that the world has decided to spin faster, so he sat down in the nearest chair. The world really needed to make up its mind on the speed it wanted to turn, because this is getting ridiculous.

The list was a work in progress, 72 reasons so far for why he didn't deserve to have good things in his life, starting with, 'I killed my family'. Somewhere in the 20's he had written 'a danger to all those around me'. He had been proud of that one at the time, in a morbid way, most people didn't think he knew that about himself.

They were never meant to know about the list though, let alone read it. What if this was the thing that finally made them cut ties with him? Charming personality could only excuse so much, and having a list of faults right there in front of them would likely cause them to see him for what he was. A hopeless case to be avoided at all costs.

A whimpering, not unlike that of fearful puppy, reaches his ears. He doesn't even register that the noise is coming from him, until the volume increases the more distressed he becomes.

He wishes he could go home, then he wishes that he had a home to go to that was not a beat up old couch. He wants someone to do the thinking for him, to tell him what he should do so that he can do it, he wants to be taken care of, and have comfort offered just because he wants it and others want to give it.

He only realizes how loud he's become when the soft shushing reaches his ears. Jane fights the embarrassment that tries to take hold of him, and forces himself to look up into the concerned gaze of one Teresa Lisbon.

Jane would have tried to deflect with a joke, he was good at that, he’d had a lot of practice, and though it wouldn't be easy in this situation, he knew he could do it, but Patrick just wanted comfort, and had no issue seeking it with someone he trusted.

Patrick threw himself into a hug with enough force to make Lisbon stumble back. Her arms quickly came around him, holding him tightly. She was still making shushing sounds, and soon enough, between the gentle noise, and the warmth of the hug, he was quieted.

It took him a long time to realize that she was talking to him. Even when he did, it was hard to process her words because the gentle tone simply contributed to his state of relaxation. She was persistent though, and kept talking to him.

Eventually, she tried to push him away, and he whined, he needed her, she couldn't leave him! He would shatter if she left him right now! 

"Jane."

The call of his name cut through his panic like a hot knife through, well just about anything really, and he raised his eyes to look at Cho over Lisbon's shoulder.

Lisbon pulled away again, just enough so that they could make eye contact. Her hands were still on his back, and she was still firmly lodged in his personal space much to his relief.

"Are you okay?" she asked slowly.

He nodded, other than a little bit of panic he was fine. 

"Is this like before? Like you were that night in the hotel?"

Patrick didn't answer.

"It's alright if it is. I just want to make sure this isn't… something more serious."

Patrick didn't want to make her worry, she was too wonderful to have to worry about him, so he nodded again.

"Okay, last question, I promise. Do you want to come home with me tonight?"

He nodded quickly, then hid his face against her shoulder praying that she wouldn't take the offer back.

"Mind if I tag along?" Rigsby asked. 

"I don't mind," Lisbon responded. "Do you want to have all of us there?" She asked Patrick.

"Yes," he said softly, not wanting to raise his head enough to nod. He wanted them all more than he could express. When they were all there he was happy, and he felt safe, and l… cared about, even if it was a little guilt mixed in, because really he didn't deserve them.

The ride to Lisbon's apartment was a blur, and Patrick could not say how long it took or what car he had rode in, what he did know was that Lisbon held him the whole time.

When they got into the apartment, Patrick was unsure of what to do, so he was quite glad when he was led over to the sofa by Van Pelt. "Why don't we choose a movie to watch?"

Patrick nodded, and went over to the shelf where Lisbon kept her movies. He gently pulled one out, and shyly handed it to Van Pelt.

"Oh this one is perfect." she said.

Patrick glowed at the praise.

Soon they were all settled on the sofa, and watching Simba’s journey to becoming king.

Patrick was entranced by the movie, and even managed to fight off sleep until the credits began to roll.

Lisbon was closest to him, and had begun running her fingers through his curly blond hair.

“What are we going to do about this?” she asked the others softly.

“I did some research, and I have an idea of what might be happening with him.” Grace said, pulling up a few pages she had bookmarked on her phone.

“I think we should encourage this,” Rigsby said once they had all read the material. “He hides it well enough most of the time, but it is obvious that he wants to be cared for, and he will accept it from us like this.”

“He’s not going to be happy about it,” Cho said. “He might fight us. He has a habit of hiding everything until it overwhelms him.”

Lisbon looked at Jane, and saw just how peaceful he seemed at the moment. All it had taken was their company and a movie. “I’ll talk to him. I want to help him, and if this can make him happy, I think we should try.”

Lisbon looked at her team, asking without words if they were all in agreement, and they all nodded. 

Now she just had to convince the most stubborn man she had ever met that this was something that he could have, and more importantly that he deserved.


	3. Accepted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Options presented, choices made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ya at the end.

When Jane woke, he found himself lying on a sofa, and covered by a blanket. Hazy memories of the night before came back to him in a rush, and he groaned, it was going to be twice as hard not to think about this now, and he had been doing so well trying to repress that night in the hotel.

“Morning, I made breakfast for us,” Lisbon called from the kitchen.

Jane got up, and padded over to the table.

“We have the day off,” Lisbon told him.

“Why?” Jane asked. He was a little upset that she would do that without asking him, but it was more because he was so used to going to the only place that really made him happy, than the fact that she had made the choice for him.

“We need to talk, Jane, and I don’t think the office is the place for it.”

Jane swallowed, and stilled. Was this the end? Was she going to tell him that she couldn’t work with him anymore because she had finally realized that he was too broken, and that she, and the others would be safer, and better off without him?

“Jane, you okay?”

He nodded stiffly. He wouldn’t break here, if she was kicking him off the team, he would take it with a smile, and breakdown once he was alone.

“Jane, don’t worry, I’m not kicking you off the team, I can see that was what you thought I meant. The fact is, the team works better with you on it, and it would be boring at the office without you around to cause trouble.”

“Very funny Lisbon.”

“I try,” she said, setting out the plates of food for the both of them.

“What did you want to talk about then?” he asked after a couple of bites.

“There is a name for what happened to you, a few months ago, and again last night. Grace found a few sites that described it, and we think it would be a good idea for you to take advantage of that tendency.”

Jane nearly choked. “What!?”

“We like caring for you, and seeing you free of everything that is always on your mind, and you seem to rest better, and gain a good amount of calmness from it, which will definitely stop some of your more questionable actions. So really it just makes sense, Jane.”

“Can I look at the sites she found? This… whatever this is, I need to think about it first.”

“Of course. Just remember, we are here if you need us.”

"Thank you, Teresa."

She smiled at him. "Finish your breakfast."

“You have plans?”

“Relaxing while watching terrible television. You’re welcome to join me,” she offered.

He smiled. “I think I will.”

~

Age regression. 

It made a lot of sense, and even more so when he considered his desire not to speak when he was feeling that way. Words had been his weapon he had used them against people, and for others, but in silence, he was vulnerable, and very childlike, and the scariest thing was that he wanted it.

He wanted the simplicity of having people that he trusted make choices for him. He wanted what he never had, a chance to be carefree, to not have to worry about the next con or the next case. 

In the end it seemed to come down to one choice. He either had to swallow his pride, and embrace the newest phase in his life or run away from all that he had. There was no middle ground here.

Jane sighed, running away was the most attractive option of the two, but he knew he couldn’t do it, he was too selfish a creature for that. Well then, that left one choice then.

~

A month later, after a particularly horrid case, with no real winners due to the loss of life, Jane needed a break. He had not explicitly said that he accepted what they were offering to him, but he felt like they all understood him enough to know that by staying he had given his answer.

Lisbon was finishing up some tedious paperwork, when Jane knocked on the door. “Are you busy?” he asked softly.

“No, I’m almost done with this, do you want to sit for a bit?” she offered pointing to the couch.

Jane nodded, and sat down. The calmness of the room had him falling more quickly than he expected. He wanted to warn Lisbon, tell her what he needed, give her a choice in the matter, but his words had already fled.

Lisbon let out a sigh, as she set aside the paper that she had been writing on. Then she stood up, and made her way over to him.

“Jane, you okay?”

Patrick nodded, now that she was over here with him, he was more than okay. He found himself wanting to be closer to her, and inched over just a fraction. It wasn't exactly close enough for his tastes, but it would do for now.

Lisbon realized she wasn’t dealing with her emotionally guarded consultant, and pulled up a bright smile for him. She had expected this at some point, and given the case they had just finished, she knew he would probably need it, but for all she had anticipated it, she felt unprepared. There were supposed to be conversations and negotiations to make sure that nothing went too far for any of them. Jane just had to be difficult though, avoiding it at all costs, and now she was just going to have to tread softly and hope it worked out for the best like the times before, back when none of them had a clue what was going on.

"Come over here," she said gently when she saw him inching closer. 

He looked at her, face flushed, embarrassed at having been so obvious that she had seen right through him.

She laughed. "It's okay, I promise, just come over here, Patrick."

He jumped at the sound of his name. 

Teresa frowned. "Do you not like your name?"

He shook his head, then nodded. Seeing that he wouldn't be able to express himself with that he said, "like it."

"You were just surprised I used it?" she queried.

He nodded, relieved, but not surprised that she understood. 

"Did you still want to come closer, Patrick?"

He smiled, and moved so close to her that even an inch more would have landed him in her lap. His body was pressed against her side, and he had slouched a bit so he could rest his head on her shoulder. 

He reached for her hand, and she allowed him to take it into his own. Then he started to play with her fingers, tangling them with his own, before letting them go, and starting over.

"Having fun?" she asked after the fourth time. 

Patrick nodded. He flashed her a shy smile, and then returned his focus to tangling their fingers.

She was content to let him continue for as long as he wanted. It was rather calming, just sitting here with him, and it made her happy to know that this small thing made him happy.

After a while, Jane spoke again. His voice was soft, somewhere in between that younger headspace, and the public facade. "Today was a bad day."

Lisbon couldn't agree more. "Yes it was."

"But there will be good ones?"

"Of course. The good days are what make it possible to get through the bad ones."

Jane held her hand in his. "I want this Lisbon. I want all of the affection, and care that seems to come with regression. I'm selfish enough to want what all of you have offered to me, even if I don’t deserve it."

"Jane, humans are all selfish creatures, we see that everyday, but sometimes, it’s okay to be selfish, it’s okay to care about yourself, and to want to be happy. Also, I can't speak for the others, but I get something out of this too so does that make me selfish as well?”

“What could you possibly get out of me acting young, and needy?” he asked with shame clear in his tone, even though he was trying to make a joke of it.

“I like the simplicity. All you want when you are regressed is a bit of attention and some cuddles, both of which I am happy to provide by the way, and it is nice to be able to fix such simple problems."

“I think you might just be a few fries short of a happy meal, my dear Lisbon-”

“Hey!” she said with mock exasperation.

Jane laughed, “but,” he continued, “I am incredibly grateful.”

Lisbon just squeezed his hand, and smiled. There was a lot for them to discuss, and they would discuss it, but for the moment, they were both content to be as they were, and let the stress of the day fade away, soothed by the presence of a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was a good place to end it. I have a little bit more written up, and if anyone is interested, I'll put it up either as another chapter or as another story. Comment, and let me know what you guys think.


	4. With Us As We Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time with Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I revisited my works, and I had a bit of this written, and it kinda got a bit out of control.

Negotiations were simple after that, and soon enough they were all ready to participate in this new phase of their friendship. Of course, the first night ended in disaster. Apparently, it was much harder to find that part of himself on purpose, and they ended up just playing a few hands of cards, before Jane slinked off in embarrassment.

The next weekend, despite his best efforts to avoid her, Lisbon made him go shopping with her.

When they arrived at the store he tried to protest one more time, knowing even as he did so that she would not be swayed. “Lisbon, I really don’t need any more clothes,” he said.

“Jane, you wear suits all the time, which is fine for work, but you need some casual clothes, I still think that played a big part in why you were unable to regress.”

“It didn’t matter the last time,” he protested in a voice just shy of whining.

“Jane, you were stressed beyond belief every single time!”

Seeing the open worry upon her features, he relented. “Okay Lisbon, okay, let’s get into the store. I get the final say on what we get though.”

“Fair enough,” she said with a nod. 

Half an hour later, two t-shirts, a pair of pajama pants, a pack of fuzzy socks, and a pair of shorts had made it into the cart. There was also a pair of novelty underwear with Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa on them, which had Hakuna Matata written across the back. He pretended not to see those, and she pretended she hadn’t gotten them because he couldn’t hide that he wanted them.

Soon enough, they were strolling through the aisles aimlessly, and a coloring book was added to the cart. They were heading towards the front to checkout, when he saw it. Obviously, it was from the baby section of the store, and had been hung on a random shelf at the last minute, but now that it had his attention, he couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

“Jane, seriously, warn someone before you-” Lisbon broke off as she saw where his gaze had landed. 

At the sound of her voice he seemed to come back to himself. He faced her, and threw on a fake smile. “Can we go now, Lisbon, I think I’ve done all the shopping I can handle today. Then he started to walk away.

“That idiot,” Lisbon muttered fondly.

~

When they made it back to Lisbon’s apartment, they found a trio awaiting their arrival.

“What are you three doing here?” Jane asked.

“Someone told us you wanted to show off what you bought today,” Grace said.

Jane glared at Lisbon, and she smiled at him, clearly not bothered by his ire. “Let’s get inside,” she said heading for the door, with the shopping bags in her hand.

Ten minutes later, dressed in t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of blue, and gray fuzzy socks, Jane stood before them. It was really embarrassing, because he felt almost naked without his suit serving as his armor… and it dawned on him then, that maybe Lisbon had been right.

“Thank you for getting dressed like this, even though you didn’t want to. Would you like your reward now?”

“Reward?”

With that, Lisbon pulled out a pink plush blanket, with an elephant head attached. He easily recognized it from the store and realized she must have put it in the cart when he had walked away. 

Just looking at it made his mental age plummet like a stone in the sea. In a state of dreamlike wonder, he reached for it, needing to know if it was as soft as it looked. In the store he had been too hesitant, too timid, to touch it, but now, with it right there, being presented as a present, he just couldn’t resist.

His fingers met with the plush, it was perfect. Soft and fluffy like a cloud plucked from the sky. He pulled it closer, rubbing the little elephant’s trunk against his cheek, and cradling the blanket part, and rubbing his fingers across it.

The tears that came a moment later startled everyone including Patrick. He’d had just enough time to fix Lisbon with a look of pure happiness, before pulling his new toy up to his face, and crying into the plush. Five minutes later, worn out from all the crying, Patrick felt himself being guided to lay on the sofa. 

~

“How mad do you think he would be if I took a picture?” Lisbon asked the others quietly. Jane would be mad, she knew that, but Patrick was so adorable right then all cuddled up with his blanket plush, with index finger lodged in his mouth. 

“Your funeral,” Cho said with the appropriate gravity.

While Lisbon contemplated if this picture was indeed worth her life, the others went to the kitchen to decide what they should have for lunch. After a quick debate they settled on chicken nuggets, baby carrots, and applesauce.

Fifteen minutes before they decided to wake him, the food was being cooked. Wyane pulled out the nuggets, Grace finished warming the carrots, and Kimball got out the applesauce. That left Teresa to be the one to wake Patrick from his nap.

“Patrick, it’s time to get up,” she said, as she shook him. She did it again with a bit more force when he didn’t stir at her first attempt.

Bleary eyes looked up at her.

“Time for lunch,” she told him softly.

He nodded a little, and tried to get up, only to find himself tangled in the blanket he had been covered with. With a chuckle, Teresa freed him, and guided him into the kitchen to wash his hands.

That done, he put his plush blanket into his lap, and scooted up to the table so that he wouldn’t spill anything on it.

His plate was put down in front of him, and a cup, with a lid and straw were placed beside it. He picked up a carrot, and put it in his mouth. Seeming to like it, he ate another, and another, until they were all gone. Then he started on the nuggets, one of them had touched the applesauce on the plate, and he eyed it curiously. He took a bite, and his face lit up with an amazed smile, he dipped the rest of the nugget into the applesauce, and ate it, then did the same thing with the rest of them, before eating the rest of the applesauce with his spoon.

He was sucking down his juice, white grape, he discovered, with a hum of appreciation, when he realized the others were just frozen in place, watching him.

He looked away quickly. 

Wayne walked over and ruffled his hair.

Patrick looked up at him.

"You're cute, buddy,” he explained. “That's why we were looking at you."

Patrick huffed, he was not cute. He had never been cute, and never would be.

"Cute," Kimball agreed, somehow making it sound worse because of his matter-of-fact tone.

Patrick huffed even louder.

"Adorable," Grace teased gently.

"Not," he said softly, a little upset with the teasing.

"Don't tease him like that," Teresa chided them gently.

"Sorry," they all said in unison the way a group of naughty school children would.

“They’re just happy to see you happy,” Teresa explained.

“Don’t like teasing,” Patrick said softly.

The three agents responsible gazed at one another with regret. “We weren’t trying to be mean, little guy. It’s just that the way you look right now or at least a few minutes ago, was so different from normal. You’re not pretending, and, the best word I could come up with to describe that was ‘cute’. I won’t use it again, since you don’t like it though.”

Cho nodded. “He’s right. Sorry for teasing you though.”

Grace nodded as well. “Sorry.”

Patrick cuddled his blanket pet, feeling sad that he had overreacted. They were his friends. Friends could tease without being mean. “Not mad,” he finally said. His gaze moved over to Teresa, and suddenly, he was filled with panic. “Why sad?” he asked.

His question made the others look at Teresa too, and they saw that she was fighting tears. “Not sad,” she said with a gentle laugh, “I’m just happy with the way you were all able to forgive each other.”

“We are friends,” Patrick said as though it was a foregone conclusion that they would be able resolve the problem.

“You know what?” Teresa said, with a smile.

Patrick looked at her curiously.

“I think you deserve a reward for being such a good boy.”

Patrick ducked his head at the complement, and then shook his head.

Teresa knelt, and made him meet her eyes. “Some people don’t forgive even small things, so you do deserve a reward.”

Patrick’s eyes were wide. How did she know exactly what he was thinking? 

“So what would you like for a reward?”

He had no idea. He had everything he wanted right here already. He looked around, wondering what he could ask for. He blinked as an idea came to him.

“You thought of something,” Teresa said.

Patrick nodded. “Movie. Watch it with everyone.”

“Which movie?”

Patrick got up, and moved over to where Teresa kept her movies. He gazed up and down the titles, until he found the one that he wanted to see, and held it up.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen this one,” Teresa said, as she turned the tv on.

“Never saw it,” Patrick told her.

“You’re going to love it. Come on over guys, it’s movie time.”

“Popcorn?” Patrick asked.

“Of course. It’s not a movie without the popcorn.”

“I’ll make it,” Wayne said.

Soon enough they were all settled on the sofa, with two bowls of popcorn to share between them.

Patrick found himself feeling a little sad as he watched the two lions on the screen.

“What’s wrong?” Teresa asked.

Patrick shook his head.

She paused the movie, realizing what the problem was. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you-”

Patrick shook his head again. “Like it. Jus, do you think the movie is right? That the gone ones are with us?”

“I like to think so. If nothing else, as long as we love them, and remember them, they matter, and will always matter. In that way, they are still with us because knowing them changed us.”

Patrick pondered that. Losing his family had hurt, but he is who he is because he loved them, and they had loved him. 

“Do you want to watch something else?”

Patrick shook his head, and pointed to the remote.

Teresa pressed play.

~

Jane woke up slowly. The bed was unfamiliar, and so were his clothes. He was about to panic, and then his eyes fell upon Lisbon. A smile came over him as he remembered last night. It had been nice, just falling into that headspace, and spending time there with everyone. The movie had brought up some memories, but even as painful as they were, there was also a degree of comfort. His family was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it, he would carry that responsibility for the rest of his life, but he also carried his love for them, and always would. He was allowed to have some joy, and he was allowed to be sad. He was allowed to remember, and to share the memories with others. He was allowed to be emotional, and to share the other facets of himself, it would open the door to more pain, yes, but it would open the door for happiness as well.

“Why are you thinking so hard this early in the morning?” Lisbon complained playfully.

“Just thinking about everything.”

“Are you okay?” She asked in a tone lacking the previous playfulness.

“Better than I’ve been in a long time actually. I just realized that I don’t have to stop living because of my mistakes.”

“I’m proud of you, Jane.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I always worried about what you would do on your bad days,” she admitted softly.

Jane sat up. “Lisbon, I know that I… I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“I know, but I couldn't help worrying about it.”

“Sorry, Lisbon.”

Teresa shook her head. “I’m just happy that you seem to be doing better. I know you’ll still have bad days, but I’m hoping that you’ll turn to help us when you do.” 

“I’ll try,” he told her, promising her more than that would be dishonest, and by her expression she was aware of that.

“Thanks, Jane.”

He should be the one thanking her. In fact, he owed all of them a thank you. 

“Jane,” she said warningly.

He gave her his most angelic smile. “Yes, my dear Lisbon?”

“I know that look, Jane, I usually see it right before someone tries to punch you in the face, and it usually leads to a mound of paperwork for me. So tell me, what are you planning?”

“Nothing,” he said indignantly, “and it hurts that you would accuse me of being up to no good,” he said with a huff as he got out of bed, grabbed, and marched his way down the hall to the bathroom.

Teresa sighed, and closed her eyes. He was definitely planning something, and more likely than not it was going to cause her trouble, but, she was used to it at this point, and it was nice to see him so enthusiastic. 

With a wry grin on her face, she got out of bed, and went to make herself breakfast, she'd need all the energy she could get to keep up with her wayward consultant. 


End file.
